I hope this life has been for something
that I put a smile on a face
or warmed someone’s heart
but something tells me I am not so fortunate.
it’s always been a battle
internally and externally
my problems feel small to tell
but they feel like a cancer inside.
the issues they grow and feed on fear
and they keep my up at night with their plans
they have whispered it to me as a thought
that maybe it is death that is my rightful place.
when I close my eyes it is suffering I see
and when I open my heart it is pain I feel
and just when I think my mind is made up
my legs give out and I am stumbling again.
I’ve searched for the answers
for a reason, or new doubt
I’ve come to the conclusion though
and this battle can only end one way.
p.s. I lose.